Fun in America

I am in America, and here is a list of things I have done:

1. Today I went into Gainesville town centre, and I was just looking in the shops, but there aren't that many shops because they all live in the mall apparantly. Anyway, so I went into this bookstore which looked a little new-agey, but I was like "Hey, whatever, I can get away from the crazy street people". And then as I entered the girl at the desk complimented me on my red ballet pumps, and I was quite flattered. Then, as I looked at the books, I realised that I was in, oh, A LESBIAN bookshop. And then I was thinking "Oh my god, what if she was hitting on me? Should I have said something nice back to her?" And, I was also trying to send out "I am not gay" vibes. But all the books were called "Mom, I'm gay: How to come out to your family." And I couldn't very skunk out without looking at anything. So Eventually I fled, and I nearly knocked over the woman who was cleaning the outside front windows.
2. Food and drink here come in 2 sizes: Huge and Humongous.
   
3. On the bus ride from Miami to Gainesville, we got talking to a couple of people our age. The girl was taking a three day bus ride up to Pennsylvania to be back with her family, and the boy was, oh, A CONVICTED FELON, who caught his ex-wife in bed with another man four years ago, and drove the guy's car INTO THE FLORIDA KEYS, and then, when he went back to the keys 5 months ago, was caught by police and PUT BACK INTO JAIL.
4. On the bus ride, the driver was this young woman who drove like a bat out of hell, and then halfway through one of our legs she made an announcement over the intercom saying "If you're going to talk, you must talk at a level so that only you and the person you're talking to can hear." She was a tough one.
5. I have yet to find a supermarket, so I am buying things for breakfast from little petrol station convenience stores, and everything seems to be a shade brighter than it should be. i.e. my orange juice faintly glowed all of last night.
6. It is entirely proper and normal to finish every sentance in Gainesville with the phrase "Go Gators!" The Gators are the University's football team. e.g. "Hello, I have a reservation for a hotel room, Go Gators!?"
7. When I wake up, I eat glowing orange juice and energy bars from the corner gas station. When the MATH wakes up, he goes to the conference where he eats fresh coffee, bagels, muffins and pastries provided by the lovely University of Floridia. Dammit, I should have been a mathemetician.
8. Actually, no, wait. I don't want to be a mathematician.

I will finish here now for tdoay, unexpectedly I managed to blag my way into the University computer room, which is pretty good and has nice air conditioning. I may even be able to do the same tomorrow!!

Au Revoir.