Media Watch

I really like the weekends, because you get to read all of the weekend newspapers. There’s a massive one on a Saturday, and an even massiver one on Sunday. And so, I’ve been reading them as fast as I can, and I still haven’t even finished Saturday’s articles (It’s now Monday.) But here are some of the more amusing/interesting/irritating things I found:

You know how Jamie Oliver has been on a campaign to get school children eating better food? Well, he has. And some columnist was being really rude and snarky and he was annoyed at how people think he’s a saint, so he said that “The whole nation bent down and collectively gave Jamie Oliver a blow job.” Tee! Although, I’m still trying to figure out how that would be possible. And what about all the men? They wouldn’t want to be seen as gay. And what about people who live far away? And children? Do they have to participate?

Another woman, who writes as a columnist in the “Style” magazine was cheerfully explaining how she went to the ATM and she has insufficient funds in her bank account, and she was all like “Whoops! Even though I have a well-paid job, and I’m 46, I’m just soooooooo bad with money! I’m glad my boyfriend can give me some!” I mean, come on. Only in England are women proud of the fact that they don’t know how to save. It wasn’t even like she was a broke student- she was a professional. And she was going on about her love of pedicures in “Pale Pink” and that’s why she has no money. So this silly bint gets a job writing a column every week and getting paid (Maybe they should just burn her salary in front of her each week, instead of actually giving it to her) and I’ve got friends struggling to make 14 pounds a week go far. Cow.

Apparently, Prince Charles is very fussy about his eggs, and when he orders boiled eggs in the morning, the staff bring out 7 or 8 so that he can decide which egg is more perfectly cooked to his specifications. And people are laughing at him, and I’m like “So what? It’s only eggs! He’s going to be King! He’s allowed to do this; give the remainder to the chickens or something. It’s not like he’s asking the Church to rewrite itself because he fancies the kitchen maid or something *cough*. Henry VII *cough*.” When I’m Queen of the world, I’m going to go and buy shoes, and then have a series of midgets walking around in them to break them in, so that they’re really comfy by the time I get to them.