Does Indiana smell like Cupcakes?

So this weekend I had something that I have been looking forward to for a fortnight…….All night Indiana Jones movie marathon!! I had never seen Indiana Jones before; I seem to remember that someone would always play them at sleepovers, but I was always braiding someone’s hair, or eating the food. That still happens. I go to parties, and I don’t mean to establish myself next to the food table for the entire night, but somehow I always end up doing just that, and then I have to develop a reason for standing there all night, other than the obvious “I’m a pig.” So, I make a joke out of it, and say things like “Just checking that the dip hasn’t been poisoned!! Haw haw!”
So, to recap: Never seen Indiana Jones; Eat too much at parties.

So I went along to the cinema at 11 pm, along with some maths geeks; not the MATH. We loaded up on coke and chocolate, and popcorn, and then we settled in for 6 hours of whip-cracking fun. It was a great night. Everybody would cheer every time anything funny happened, Sean Connery got the biggest cheer of the night, and I’ve had the theme music in my head for the last three days.


Good things always happen to me after church. This afternoon I went to a bagel shop to buy a bagel; and I decided upon an aubergine and hummus bagel.
Side note 1: Sometimes I forget that you say “Aubergine” in the UK, and I ask for “Eggplant” and they just look at me like I’m crazy. And yes. I know that there is a difference of names, but if I worked in a fruit shop in Australia and someone asked for an aubergine, I wouldn’t look at them like they were stupid. But here, when I ask for an eggplant, they look at me like I have asked for a plant that grows eggs.
Side note 2: A plant that grows eggs would be really, really cool.
Side note 3: If I ever adopted a vegetarian diet, I would eat so much more healthily. Because when you eat meat, it’s easy to say “I want a bagel with sausage on it.” But the veggie options have more vegetables and healthy things in them.
So, to continue, I asked for this bagel, and then the manager came up to me and said that they were training some new staff, so they actually had a ready-made aubergine bagel that I could have, including a discount. So I got a whole pound off the cost of my bagel.
I think God love bagels too.

I’m quite a fan of America’s Next Top Model. Their main sponsor in Cover Girl, and the winner gets a contract for a year to shill their makeup. Anyway, I was watching an episode, and as part of the challenge the girls had to film an advert for their lip gloss called “Wetslicks”.

Most of them were making idiots out of themselves, because, let’s face it, even high-class models are incapable of stringing a sentence together, and the kind of girls that audition for ANTM are functionally illiterate. Anyway, so they all have to think of things to say about the wetslicks, and some girl comes up before the camera and says “Try new wetslicks! Great colour, long lasting shine, and they smell like cupcakes!”
Can you guess where this story is going? Today I was in the 1 pound shop, and I saw some Cover Girl wetslicks! I was so excited, I had to buy some, in a rather fetching shade of raspberry, and as I walked home, I had it jammed up my nostril trying to inhale the lovely quasi-cupcake-y smell. I have to say, it does smell a little like cupcakes. I made the MATH smell my mouth, and now he thinks I’m weird.

I'm off to America in 48 hours, so I may or may not update this blog, and I may or may not send out mass emails detailing how I nearly got eaten by an alligator.