Porn, Porn Porn

Because I know, just know, that people are seraching for "Striptease" and coming up with my blog. I know who you are, and where you live, so stop being so disgusting and searching for PORN.

• I hate going to Doctors. I really do. I've had a horrible infected throat for a long time, and the tit of a doctor merely suggested that I suck on a Strepsil, and drink lots of fluids to keep my throat nice and LUBRICATED. Yeah, if your search engine caught that words and you were looking forward to reading dirty stuff, then you are a WEIRD FREAK. What the hell? When I go to a doctor, I expect for him to actually, you know, doctor me. But I'm glad that he did tell me to stop chewing on sandpaper and smoking forty cigarettes a day. I had no idea that was irritating my throat. Thank god for highly trained doctors!
• It's raining. And for those who don't know about the MATH's surprise farewell picnic, well, rain is NOT GOOD!
• The Australian Open is on at the moment, and I know that there must be famous tennis players walking around the city, but I'll be dammed if I can find any of them! I'm not exactly stalking them, but I am keeping my eyes peeled. Mega peeled. Like, I haven't blinked in three days. I mean, part of the problem may be that I shop in the Reject shop, and they shop in Gucci, but still, I mean, c'mon.
• www.gofugyourself.com is a very very funny website.
• I changed the ringone on my mobile phone, and now when someone calls me I stand there thinking "Why doesn't some stupid person answer their phone?? Gee, dumb people shouldn't be allowed to own a mobile. It's just ridiculous." And then I realise that it's mine.
• Text messages sent to me at 8 am asking about the rain in relation to our picnic tonight do not help. Yeah, I'll just call up God and ask him to postpone the rain.