Oh, if only all ghost movies could be this scary...

Things I have learned from watching the Chinese Supernatural /Horror /Romance movie "Rouge":

1) All Courtesans in 1930's Hong Kong were given unusual, yet attractive names like "Fleur" and "Maxine". In 2000's Hong Kong, McDonalds workers are called things like "Dystentry" and "Fat".

2) If, as a coutesan, you fall in love with a man, and he won't get over himself and marry you, then drinking Opium is acceptable.

3) Drugging your boyfriend without his knowledge so that he'll die too is not acceptable.

4) Ghosts that come back to haunt you are usually broke.

5) You may lend broke ghosts some money, but make sure you get her to pay you back, otherwise she'll just spend all your money on crappy fortune tellers that work next to roadside restaurants

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6) Don't bother giving ghosts Coke. It just dribbles out the side of their mouth.

7) If you are watching a film and it seems boring (Oh God, so very, very boring), then some hot journalistic sex will usually spice it up.

8) When your girlfriend comes back from the dead and starts warbling at you that "My love is like a bucket of water in the ocean" you know it's time to drive a stake through her heart (Or do whatever you need to do to actually vanquish a ghost for good).