In the last year I have done some important things (Got married, moved house), some non-important things (Had three haircuts) and some super important things (Found three used stamps that hadn't been franked and soaked them off the envelope and now I have THREE stamps, FOR FREE) but I have also read The Age alot. I'm strangely addicted to the bogan comments section but the article about cellulite back in April took the cake. Basically an article about Lady Gaga and how she has celluite and OMG she's such a real woman! The article ended with the questions "How do you feel about your cellulite? Are you out there and proud like many of Lady GaGa's followers? Or do you prefer a bit of artful camouflage, whether that be fake tan or long trousers? How do you really feel about it? How does cellulite affect the way you conduct your life?"


My response:

"How does cellulite affect the way you conduct your life?"

Well, I wake up in the morning to my alarm clock blaring "You have cellulite!Cell-U-Lite! Wake up, cellulite woman!" I hop into my specially-adapted cellu-shower and put on three pairs of trousers, just to make sure that no inkling of a hint of cellulite can be detected. I take the special cellulite tram into the city, and grab myself a cellu-cino from the nearest cafe (I have to stand in the "people with cellulite" line) and then head to work. I have to work in a separate room to ensure that my co-workers aren't affected by my cellulite. After a day at my desk crying pitifully because I have cellulite, I go home where my husband makes me stand in a corner and yells "You are a disgusting, cellulite-infected waste of space" at me for about 4 hours or so. I then curl up in the dog's kennel and suffer nightmares for the rest of the night about dimpled thighs.

So, as you can see, my cellulite doesn't really affect the way I conduct my life. Thanks for asking!!