Spy School

When I meet new people I like to assume that they're a spy.  This is either a sign that I have an overactive imagination, or that the people I meet are so deadly dull that I'm convinced that nobody could actually be that boring and therefore they must have a really interesting secret life.  Which perhaps indicates that I'm not doing too well in the whole meeting-interesting-people sphere.

Real life aside, spy movies are awesome.  I'm too dense to guess the twist so I'm always shocked - SHOCKED I TELL YOU - when it turns out that guy who seemed to be really good and handsome was a bad guy and the guy you thought was eeeevil (mostly because he had a scar) is secretly the good guy.

But there are obviously some spy tropes that don't make any sense.

- Why OH WHY, do TV resistance groups always have the world's crappiest screening policy?
"Are you a spy?"
"No, I'm not! I hate the bad guys A LOT."
"Sounds legit; welcome!" 

- If you are going to a cafe to rendez-vous with an unknown person, your contact is always the hottest girl/guy in the room.  It's never the non descript slightly balding and unmemorable guy.  Resistance groups might be terrible at screening for Nazi spies, but their 'hotties only' policy is really stringent.

- Nothing looks less suspicious than seeing one man sit alone on a bench, staring at a game of ultiate frisbee or something, while another man sits down and then thirty seconds gets up to leave again, as if he's doing the world's slowest, weirdest bench squat.