Me: what time did you get home last night?
MATH: Oh, about 5
Me: Well, when you came in I thought it was a burgler! You scared the hell out of me!
MATH: Yes, because, burglers in England have copies of your house keys, and stand there for ages twiddling them in the lock.
Me: Well, I didn’t think anyone who had lived here for a YEAR AND A HALF would still have trouble opening the door.
MATH: Just shut up.
Me: Were you drunk? Speaking of which, did you walk home through Hyde Park?
MATH: Of course I did!
Me: But, Hyde Park is dangerous! Did you not know that it was the epicentre of the 1996 drug riots?
MATH: Yes I did. What’s your point?
Me: That it’s dangerous! That there are creepy drug addicts just waiting to choke the life out of your lifefull body! And there are people sitting around....SMOKING. And there's bugs and I'm not entirely sure that malaria isn't still a major health issue in this country. And there's also an old man with a dog who always keeps asking for money, but…….he’s a fraud. Because I saw him at Sainsbury’s buying strawberries and beer, and so he must be asking for money so that he can buy a gun and kill a likely rich-looking person…..oh my god. I look too rich. I have to take off my watch, and my shoes, and my eyeliner so that he doesn’t try to kill me.
MATH: Paranoid, much?
Me: He might want to kill me because he thinks I’m dainty.
MATH: Not bloody likely.
It's a cruel, scary world out there
3 comments:
hellooooooo avacarrdo! how are you? sounds like you're having fabulous time..harhar....
anyway i miss you! when will i see you next? I think I'm starting to see my Leeds trips as some kind of spa vacation. I get pampered, get to sleep and eat a lot, in a well-lit and well-decorated environment!
OH, how you make me laugh. Nay, cry. Sigh.
HA ! that is really funny, and I am having flashes of Math and Avacarrdo conversations.. and I think it's great !
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